Photo by Vitaly Gariev via Uplash.

It’s going to be quite a Thanksgiving this year, considering the current political landscape! If, like me, you really just want to eat some good home-cooked food with family and friends, here are some helpful tips for staying on top of arguments and keeping your Thanksgiving from getting too controversial.

Is your beloved family member going on a rant about how the Harris-Walz campaign was actually a coverup for the fact that climate change was deepfaked to make the moon landing more plausible? Consider approaching the matter with tactical evasion by roaring, “WOW. THIS PUMPKIN PIE IS DELICIOUS!” and glaring directly into their eyes while stabbing Nana’s award-winning hand-kneaded flaky pie crust hard enough to tear through the paper plate. If the subject is not dropped, you may consider forcefully serving your relative a helping of food, refusing to set down the serving knife. You should follow this up by gesturing at the food and repeatedly asking, “Isn’t Aunt Gertrude’s bean casserole just the highlight of your year?” As a physiological need, food is at the base of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and by fulfilling your relative’s basic desire for sustenance, you can de-escalate any political tension and make them feel loved and comforted.

Are you listening in disbelief to your ancient uncle’s Ted Talk about “post-birth abortion” and how “the left is grooming our kids to become vegan illegal immigrants who use our tax dollars to get sex reassignment surgeries?” I highly recommend vaulting onto the table and rubbing soggy stuffing into his hair while berserkly screaming gibberish. Everyone needs a little attention sometimes; this will gain his respect, help him feel warm and cuddly inside and steer the conversation to more constructive pathways.

Have you been dreading someone bringing up “mass deportation” or “illegal criminals,” but feel that the dinner conversation is quickly veering in a somewhat xenophobic direction? A great way to keep this situation under control is by slithering under the table and gently tickling people’s knees. “They’re coming for your jobses, precious!” you can tell them in your best Gollum voice from below their femurs. This is a great motto that your family will assuredly find meaningful.

Is your feeble grandmother using her last dregs of energy to aggressively declare that “more guns in schools would prevent mass shootings?” I recommend knocking over your chair and pitchily playing “Pumped Up Kicks” on the bagpipes while dancing an energetic Highland Fling. Generally, this will defuse the argument and leave your dear grandparent pacified and chuckling gently. I, at least, have personally found this tactic helpful.

Are all your male friends and relatives discussing “trans rights and men in women’s sports” while tugging on their impressive beards, no doubt sponsored by Black Rifle Coffee Co.? A tried-and-true method of keeping the conversation reasonable is to loudly cough every time anyone says anything you find especially unconstructive. If people throw you annoyed looks, it often helps to roll your eyes and say, “So sorry, I’m allergic to DUMB!” Men are naturally sensitive to people with allergies and intolerances and will generally do their best to kindly accommodate your biological peculiarities. Chivalry isn’t dead but sometimes you have to give it a little hint.

Helpful tip! Carry a large red button that says “NUKES” on it. This way, if anyone mentions current military conflicts during your idyllic and peaceful holiday meal, you can pull it out and slap it repeatedly while smiling widely and making explosion sounds. This is a great way to subtly signal that you prefer not to discuss these issues at the dinner table. If you catch someone giving you an odd look, be sure to mention that your nuke button is 100% prisoner-of-war made and therefore completely free!

Is your pale, high school dropout aunt making some less-than-accurate points about “Critical Race Theory in schools” and “perverting children?” A great idea for placating the situation here is to scurry off, return with an oversized baseball bat and gently bonk her over the head. Generally, the reason many women come up with opinions they don’t completely understand is because they have used Clinton-era, safety-recalled hairspray, which contains certain brain-altering toxins like cocaine and asbestos. By using your oversized baseball bat to ruin her hairdo, you will break her out of her daze. She will thank you over and over, of course, and the rest of Thanksgiving should go by with nothing but joy and happiness.

Has your chronically twitchy mother read something about “the jab” on her flat-earth Facebook group? Pull out a full-sized, hand-crafted, steel-bladed Spanish rapier and suggest a free, on-the-spot essential oil injection activity to help your family and friends experience more natural astral vibrations. I’ve often learned that in order to reroute the conversation, but still keep it from being all about yourself, it’s a great idea to sacrificially and genuinely offer something to the other person. Generosity never fails to warm hearts. Even your most stoic relative may have a tear in their eye once you’ve finished your DIY medical malpractice.

My last pro tip: if anyone brings religion into politics at all, have two pieces of bread on hand. This way, you can slap the bread onto either side of their face and scream at them that disregarding the separation of church and state, according to federal law, makes them an idiot sandwich. Everyone loves sandwiches, so this will be a sugar-coated approach to calming them down and helping them realize their mistake, leading to a more constructive interaction.

Of course, no matter your political opinions, it’s not acceptable to incite violence, even on friends and family. Sometimes you just have to let people have their own opinions and refrain from feeling that you always have to prove yourself right or convince everyone around you of your beliefs. Avoiding engagement entirely can really help your mental health stay steady, even if it means you have to listen to opinions you don’t agree with. If you want your political opinions to matter, there are ways to do that – the International Center on Nonviolent Conflict recommends marches, boycotts, walkouts, petitions, strikes and statements among others – but arguing during the holiday break is likely not going to change anything. 

Is there such a thing as the Grinch but for Valentine’s Day? I think I can speak for lots of singles who are tired of the constant barrage of Valentine’s Day marketing and the general pressure of finding the “right” plans. Even if you’re perfectly content in your single status, Valentine’s Day can trigger complex feelings and be a reminder of societal expectations. Almost 50% of adults in America are single, so you are not alone. If you’re in this boat, this guide is for you! Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be stressful or a day that you have to miss out on. Here are some ways to celebrate this year:

1. Galentine’s celebration

Galentine’s Day is a celebration of friendship that can take place on Valentine’s Day or any time of the year! There are so many fun ideas for hosting a Galentine’s party, such as getting crafty with DIY projects, eating themed snacks like heart-shaped pizzas, or hosting a romcom movie night. Galentine’s Day is all about celebrating platonic love and the people that are important in your life, which is a unique kind of love that fulfills many needs that romantic love cannot.

2. Self-care night

If you’re going solo on Valentine’s Day, you might as well make a night of it! Get your favorite takeout, turn on a movie of your choice and indulge in a sweet treat of your choice. If you’re of age, maybe have a glass of wine — or two. Put on a face mask and enjoy your own company. There’s no shame in having a night in for yourself and prioritizing your self-care. On a more serious note, it’s important to take care of your mental health when practicing self-care. If you are working through difficult emotions, there are campus resources that can help you work through your experiences.

3. Treat yourself 

Going hand-in-hand with the theme of self-care, treat yourself to something that you would want a hypothetical partner to do for you. If you love flowers, go buy yourself flowers! Or you could even take yourself out to a nice dinner at your favorite restaurant. Maybe you want to see the new romcom movie, “Anyone But You,” but haven’t had the time. Valentine’s Day could be the perfect opportunity. It might sound a bit silly, but treating yourself is an act of self-love and doesn’t require another person.

4. Hit the town

On the other hand, if you’d rather spend Valentine’s Day out and not at home, that’s perfectly understandable. Go to a fun dinner, event, or bar with your single friends to make a night of it. Maybe you’ll find your Valentine after all if that’s what you are looking for, or you could play matchmaker for your friends. 

5. Hit the gym or take a fitness class

If you’re like me, sometimes having a good sweat session can be therapeutic. If Valentine’s Day has got you in the dumps, hit the gym and have a good workout to distract yourself. Perhaps you’ve always wanted to try pilates or kickboxing. This could be an opportunity to try a new challenge. Getting in a good workout will raise your endorphins and make your day better knowing you are working on becoming a better version of yourself. 

6. Spend time with family

If your family members or loved ones are welcoming to the idea, you could crash their Valentine’s Day plans. Maybe go out to brunch or lunch with your family to surround yourself with your people to celebrate this day that’s devoted to love. Spending time with family or loved ones can be a good reminder that you have people in your life who love you unconditionally, regardless of what period of life you’re in.

7. Do something kind for someone else

Gratitude and good deeds definitely lift spirits. They can help remove us from negative thought patterns and remind us of the most important things in our lives. Even showing a small act of kindness to a friend or acquaintance who may be going through a hard time can help brighten both of your days. If you’re interested, you could spend Valentine’s Day volunteering and giving back to your community.

Regardless of how you decide to spend Valentine’s Day, have fun with it and do something that will bring you joy. There’s no reason to forgo celebrations if you don’t have a partner.  Own it and celebrate in your own way!

Not all technology is bad, though; many beneficial uses of technology exist. We have all probably used spell-check software to remove embarrassing typos or artificial intelligence to do research for an assignment. As I’m writing this line, I have Microsoft Word open to write this article, Firefox open to research it and Taylor Swift’s “Suburban Legends” playing in my headphones. I use lots of technology.

And you probably do, too. Unless you are reading this article in the December 2023 print edition of the “Hilltop Monitor”, you are using a device of some kind—whether mobile phone, tablet, or laptop—to read this. Technology can serve humanity in all sorts of ways. We cannot deny that we are living in the Information Age.

But this relationship—technology serving humanity—is often reversed.

The Culprits
In an essay for New York Magazine, ominously titled “I Used to Be A Human Being,” Andrew Sullivan draws our attention to what seems a very simple statement. Mobile phones are, well, mobile. “At your desk at work, or at home on your laptop, you disappeared down a rabbit hole of links and resurfaced minutes (or hours) later to reencounter the world. But the smartphone then went and made the rabbit hole portable, inviting us to get lost in it anywhere, at any time, whatever else we might be doing.”

The emergence of the Information Age, especially social media, creates three critical problems.

1. Quantification of Social Standing
Social media causes the quantification of social standing. In other words, social standing now comes with numbers attached. Instagram, X (formerly known as Twitter) and Facebook all show (publicly!) how many people follow you and how many people interact with your posts. Snapchat shows you a Snapscore that increases every time you send someone a picture. YikYak has a leaderboard of people who use it, sorted by how many upvotes you receive.

These numbers on social media are a double-edged sword. Research from the University of Florida shows a significant negative impact on users’ mental health. People who look at “upward” connections—i.e., profiles that indicate the profile’s creator is “better off” than the viewer—came away with “deflated self-esteem.” In contrast, when people look at content indicating other users are “worse off”, they feel better about themselves. We trade short-term benefits for long-term detriment—while people do feel better in the short term, they do so at the expense of others.

2. Information Overload
We suffer from information overload. We have access to worlds of knowledge at our fingertips: nearly two and a half quintillion bytes per day. If you type into Google the words, “how much information is available to us right now,” Google returns this:

This does not seem to be a problem per se. Sure, there is a lot of information to sort, but there is nothing wrong with the information existing. Processing that information, though, requires our attention. As such, humans have to triage; we discern what is important, focus on those bits and disregard the rest.

However, the internet puts that system into overdrive. “Viewing and producing blogs, videos, tweets and other units of information called memes have become so cheap and easy that the information marketplace is inundated,” write Thomas Hills and Filippo Menczer of Scientific American. We do not have the ability to effectively parse everything, so our biases take over.

This inability to fully process stimuli activates what I call our “lizard brain.” We are unable to determine fact from fiction or beneficial information from bologna. Critical thinking ceases and we are open to misinformation. We need only look back two years to understand the cost of such misinformation. A Brown University analysis of the COVID-19 pandemic estimates that 319,000 lives could have been saved with vaccinations. That is ten times the population of Liberty, Missouri!

3. Virtual Substitution
Social media, messaging apps and podcasts serve as a virtual substitution for human contact. This does not seem like it should be a problem, either. After all, research exists linking “[the] quantity of one’s virtual interaction partners… [and] better mental health at both the daily level and the weekly level.”

Virtual interactions are wonderful, especially when distance makes in-person interactions impractical or impossible. But if we lack meaningful physical contact (because we limit our interactions to being virtual), we do not benefit as much. Multiple studies indicate that in-person interactions are more fulfilling; Zoom fatigue is real!

We have to take time to talk to the people we care about. If distance makes doing so impossible, maybe give the person a phone or video call. It is so much better than texting, as we can hear a person’s voice or see their face in a call.

The Solution
So what can we do? Fortunately, the Internet has plenty of information on how to avoid the devastating effects of the Internet. (Ironic, I know.) A notable work in this field is Cal Newport’s Digital Minimalism. In the latter half of his book, Newport provides solutions to escape the world of technology. I have used his recommendations to outline three easy recommendations and one difficult recommendation for busy college students.

The whole text of Digital Minimalism is worth a read; if you want to read it, it is available here for free from the Internet Archive. (Quick shoutout to the Internet Archive!)

1. Walk to Class Alone
In 1845, transcendentalist and author Henry David Thoreau expressed concern about an overly interconnected world. “We are in great haste to construct a magnetic telegraph from Maine to Texas,” wrote Thoreau in Walden, “but Maine and Texas, it may be, have nothing important to communicate.” Thoreau is not challenging the existence of the telegraph, far from it. If Maine and Texas had something important to say, then there would be justification for its construction. Thoreau is simply concerned with remaining intentional in communication.

Newport defines the phrase solitude deprivation as a “state in which you spend close to zero time alone with your own thoughts and free from input from other minds.” When this lack of solitude happens, we lose our sense of identity. I describe this phenomenon as “being afraid of my own thoughts,” however, we need time to be alone with our own thoughts.

“Ethan,” I hear you already saying, “I’m so busy with athletics or academics or extracurriculars or all three at once. How do I find time to do this?” You have more time than you think.

I often find myself (and see other people) with headphones on as soon as I walk out the door of my residence hall, keeping music or video content on for my entire walk to classes or to the Union. For those looking for an easy way to find time with their thoughts, consider walking to class alone. No headphones. Nothing playing. Just you, nature and your thoughts. You would be surprised what it does to you.

2. Stop Liking Things
Weird heading, I know. You might think I told you to not have hobbies, but that is not what I mean. Clicking ‘Like’ on something seems to be a standard way to say, “I like this! This is cool.” When Facebook introduced the ‘Like’ button in 2009, that is what it was supposed to be for. According to Newport, the ‘Like’ button was “introduced as a simpler way to indicate your general approval of a post, which would both save time and allow the comments to be reserved for more interesting notes.”

The quantification of social standing incentivizes people to constantly check their accounts, investigating to see if anyone else has ‘Liked’ their posts or story. But in terms of information conveyed, the ‘Like’ button conveys exactly one bit of information, the least amount of information possible to convey, according to information theory. “To say it’s like driving a Ferrari under the speed limit is an understatement,” writes Newport, “the better simile is towing a Ferrari behind a mule.” By conditioning our brains to accept ‘Likes’ instead of proper communication, we are selling our amazing communication capabilities short. We have limited the amount of fuel our communication can run on; we are literally receiving information one bit at a time.

3. Schedule Everything
Our lives are all defined by schedules. Every person at this College, whether student, staff or faculty, has a schedule to follow. For students, that could be a class schedule; for athletes, it could be a practice schedule. One easy way to limit your screen time is to schedule it.

Schedule time to check your social media, watch television or employ whatever form of screen enjoyment you like best. After that, put the screen away. Newport continues: “Without access to your standard screens, the best remaining option to fill this time will be quality activities.” This is a good blend of abstinence and enjoyment; while you do not have to give your media up completely, you are able to limit it in this way.

4. Detox
This solution is not for the faint of heart. If you attempt to detox, you will have to demonstrate significant self-restraint. When I first read Newport’s book as a senior in high school, I attempted this solution and failed to maintain the thirty days required of me.

Newport’s tough suggestion is to give it all up.

Take thirty days and eliminate all non-optional screens from your life. Newport considers a technology non-optional if “its temporary removal would harm or significantly disrupt the daily operation of your professional or personal life.”

Take Instagram, for example. In considering if Instagram is essential, one must ask themselves if temporary removal of Instagram would significantly disrupt their lives. In most cases, the answer is no (and no, finding out about events is not considered essential). However, if someone runs a business from Instagram (where, for example, they are posting handmade goodies to sell), then Instagram is an essential technology for them.

After the thirty-day detox, begin to introduce non-optional technologies back into your life. Doing so enables you to think critically about whether technology needs to be there or not.

If you are considering this, I seriously suggest reading the entirety of Newport’s book. He provides many more examples and much more research than I can include in this article.

Conclusions
At the beginning of this article, I noted that technology’s relationship with humanity was backward—that humanity served technology, and not the other way around. However, I sincerely believe we can undo this relationship by making our relationships both with technology and other humans intentional. By using our time wisely and using technology to our benefit, not to our detriment, we can save humanity from this servitude. The world is increasingly moving online; we must learn how to adapt.

Well, it’s that time of the year again. Something about early November always creates the most unproductive energy. Now that midterms are over and Halloween has passed, I thought that I would feel like I crossed a finish line. The only problem is… we’re not finished. There’s still another month left in the semester – man, even writing that makes me feel exhausted. So, now that both your mood and my own are ruined, how can we deal with this feeling of burnout?

What is ‘burnout’?
Burnout is a feeling of emotional, mental and physical distress or fatigue. It is usually caused by extreme or constant stress, commonly arising in work and school environments. Although burnout can look different for everyone, some common symptoms are unhappiness, lack of motivation, constant procrastination, excessive tiredness, lowered self-esteem, feeling helpless and emotional detachment, according to the World Health Organization.

If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, keep reading! If you aren’t but you know someone who is, consider sending this article their way.

WAYS TO COPE WITH BURNOUT

Self-care
There are many types of self-care, so set aside some time in the morning or the evening for yourself. For physical stress relief, try napping, yoga, going on a walk, exercising or having a snack. For emotional wellbeing, try journaling, venting to a consenting friend and meditation. And for personal happiness, you can never go wrong with a facemask and manicure – and a RESPONSIBLE shopping trip.

Time your breaks
The ”Pomodoro Technique” helps with focus and productivity through timed breaks. First, set a timer for 25 minutes before beginning a task, then when those 25 minutes are up, take a five-minute break. Repeat this four times, and the fourth break will be longer. This method incentivizes you to get as much done before the timer goes off – kind of like a game. If 25 minutes is too long or if five minutes is too short, play with the numbers until you find your groove!

Ask for help
It can feel daunting to talk with your professors about mental health and burnout, but I have learned that many of my professors have experienced these same frustrations and don’t mind sharing their tips! Nine times out of ten times, your professor will be understanding and willing to work things out with you. If you need an extension on a paper or if you need to take a day off, just communicate with your professor about your needs so that they can help you before it’s too late. Remember, they were (and maybe still are) students, too.

Talk it out
It has been shown that talking about your problems helps. Putting your feelings into words helps your body release that tension, making it easier to sort through the negative emotions. Find a friend who is willing to listen for a different perspective on your issues or try out a therapist for a professional opinion. Journaling and writing out your frustrations can help with organizing thoughts and finding solutions on your own.

Set boundaries
Time and time again, people end up stretching themselves thin by trying to do everything others ask them to do. This is NOT healthy! Your time is valuable and important, so manage it well. Make sure that you are giving yourself enough room to do what you need and want to do before you hand it over to others. When you end up agreeing to things you don’t want to do, it shows either through body language, tone or (usually a lack of) planning. It might feel bad for the first five minutes, but saying no can save a lot of physical and emotional energy.

Try something new
Hobbies can help get your mind off of the hard stuff. But if you are too good at something, multitasking becomes a lot easier. Finding something new to do like knitting or dancing to keep yourself busy can help you find fulfillment until you can deal with other things. But remember, hobbies are hobbies and should not be used to avoid dealing with life.

RESOURCES ON CAMPUS
There are plenty of people and places around campus that can help support you when you’re feeling mentally, physically and academically down. Here are a few options.

Counseling Services
Located on the intermediate level of Curry Hall, the Counseling Services provides confidential psychological support and mental health resources. The Counseling Services offer individual TeleHealth therapy through AcademicLiveCare (ALC), where students can connect with professionals for psychotherapy, 24-hour crisis and support services, nutrition, psychiatric services, discounted prescription programs and urgent care. 

Additionally, students can talk with the Counseling Services every weekday through Let’s Talk, a brief in-person counseling meeting for more problem-solving issues. If you just need to talk, then Let’s Talk is for you!

Monday and Wednesday: 11:00-11:50 a.m. and 2:00-2:50 p.m.
Tuesday and Thursday: 9:30-10:20 a.m. and 1:00-1:50 p.m.
Friday: 10:30-11:20 a.m.

Lastly, the Counseling Services provide group support sessions where each week a relevant new topic is discussed.

Accessibility Services
Down the hall from the Counseling center in Curry Hall, the Accessibility Services provide support and resources to those with disabilities as well as learning, academic, housing and dining accommodations at Jewell.

Health Center
Also on the intermediate level of Curry Hall, the Health Center is free for all current students and $15 per visit for graduate students and employees. The Health Center is open Monday through Thursday from 8:30 a.m. to 4 p.m.

Telehealth medical visits are also available and can be used for health services like medication refills, allergies, asthma, stomach issues, colds and flu, infections, sprains, injuries, rashes and so much more. If you have something going on, our nurse practitioner can help! To get in touch with Telehealth services, email heathcenter@william.jewell.edu. 

Student Success Center
The Student Success Center offers many resources and support systems to ensure that your time at Jewell is… well… successful. The Student Success Center offers tutoring, writing labs, test preparation and more. For more information on the Student Success Center and its resources, you can enroll in the Brightspace course (from the homepage, click ‘Discover’, then search ‘Student Success Center’ and enroll in the course!)