1. People Leaving Computers

Laptops left in the PLC.

ON the seemingly crimeless hill, students leave their laptops lounging about the PLC with no supervision, almost like a car show but instead of vintage mustangs, the students park next to each other to show off their latest NPR or Birdie Sanders sticker. Wait, no, it’s a dove calling for peace and biblical accuracy.

2. Perch Lost Convenience

New census data show that unless you’re a professor avoiding students, trying to climb stairs to appease your Fitbit or in actual need of productivity, the Perch is not the place for you.

3. Public Lap Cuddling

And you haven’t even seen the worse of the lap cuddling.

The density of public lap cuddling is highest in the center of the PLC’s top floor. Something about the wooden tables, awkwardly sized square chairs and the sweet aroma of stress stimulate the need to flaunt one’s ability to limit the mobility of his or her partner. However, one cannot complain too much as long as the vertical affection doesn’t horizontalize onto item number four of this list.

4. Pretty Lavish Couches

“I’ve taken many a nap on this couch, slobbering and drooling all the live long day,” said couch enthusiast Michael Hays, junior business administration and economic major.

Students enjoy the comfort of the lavish couches available in the PLC.

5. Pooping Listening to Classical

If you time the splash just right, it adds something special to the Lord of the Rings theme. Samwise would be proud.

6. Pricey Lil Coffees

“$5 for a vegan mocha? Hot damn!” said PLC regular, Jesse Lundervold, sophomore chemistry and studio art major. 

7. Please Laugh Controllably

This is a PLC PSA to Please Laugh Controllably, for otherwise you will Probably  Limit Concentration and Possibly Lead to Confrontation. Hopefully you can pay for the Potential Legal Consultant after you get Punched Laterally in the Cranium.

8. Post Lunch Clamor

The PLC is quite the cacophony after the noon meal, but recent studies show that complaining about it can significantly reduce the noise pollution.

9. PhiGamDelts Living in Cubical

“The island has gotten pretty crowded lately, so we’ve started colonizing here. #FIJIimperialism,” said colonizing Colin Robertson, sophomore biochemistry major. 

PhiGamDelts in their new habitat.

Photos by Chandler Eaton.