Is there such a thing as the Grinch but for Valentine’s Day? I think I can speak for lots of singles who are tired of the constant barrage of Valentine’s Day marketing and the general pressure of finding the “right” plans. Even if you’re perfectly content in your single status, Valentine’s Day can trigger complex feelings and be a reminder of societal expectations. Almost 50% of adults in America are single, so you are not alone. If you’re in this boat, this guide is for you! Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be stressful or a day that you have to miss out on. Here are some ways to celebrate this year:

1. Galentine’s celebration

Galentine’s Day is a celebration of friendship that can take place on Valentine’s Day or any time of the year! There are so many fun ideas for hosting a Galentine’s party, such as getting crafty with DIY projects, eating themed snacks like heart-shaped pizzas, or hosting a romcom movie night. Galentine’s Day is all about celebrating platonic love and the people that are important in your life, which is a unique kind of love that fulfills many needs that romantic love cannot.

2. Self-care night

If you’re going solo on Valentine’s Day, you might as well make a night of it! Get your favorite takeout, turn on a movie of your choice and indulge in a sweet treat of your choice. If you’re of age, maybe have a glass of wine — or two. Put on a face mask and enjoy your own company. There’s no shame in having a night in for yourself and prioritizing your self-care. On a more serious note, it’s important to take care of your mental health when practicing self-care. If you are working through difficult emotions, there are campus resources that can help you work through your experiences.

3. Treat yourself 

Going hand-in-hand with the theme of self-care, treat yourself to something that you would want a hypothetical partner to do for you. If you love flowers, go buy yourself flowers! Or you could even take yourself out to a nice dinner at your favorite restaurant. Maybe you want to see the new romcom movie, “Anyone But You,” but haven’t had the time. Valentine’s Day could be the perfect opportunity. It might sound a bit silly, but treating yourself is an act of self-love and doesn’t require another person.

4. Hit the town

On the other hand, if you’d rather spend Valentine’s Day out and not at home, that’s perfectly understandable. Go to a fun dinner, event, or bar with your single friends to make a night of it. Maybe you’ll find your Valentine after all if that’s what you are looking for, or you could play matchmaker for your friends. 

5. Hit the gym or take a fitness class

If you’re like me, sometimes having a good sweat session can be therapeutic. If Valentine’s Day has got you in the dumps, hit the gym and have a good workout to distract yourself. Perhaps you’ve always wanted to try pilates or kickboxing. This could be an opportunity to try a new challenge. Getting in a good workout will raise your endorphins and make your day better knowing you are working on becoming a better version of yourself. 

6. Spend time with family

If your family members or loved ones are welcoming to the idea, you could crash their Valentine’s Day plans. Maybe go out to brunch or lunch with your family to surround yourself with your people to celebrate this day that’s devoted to love. Spending time with family or loved ones can be a good reminder that you have people in your life who love you unconditionally, regardless of what period of life you’re in.

7. Do something kind for someone else

Gratitude and good deeds definitely lift spirits. They can help remove us from negative thought patterns and remind us of the most important things in our lives. Even showing a small act of kindness to a friend or acquaintance who may be going through a hard time can help brighten both of your days. If you’re interested, you could spend Valentine’s Day volunteering and giving back to your community.

Regardless of how you decide to spend Valentine’s Day, have fun with it and do something that will bring you joy. There’s no reason to forgo celebrations if you don’t have a partner.  Own it and celebrate in your own way!

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The Single Members of the Hilltop Monitor Editorial Staff

Are you single and wondering how to land a Valentine’s date on short notice? Well, look no further because we, the single members of the editorial staff for The Hilltop Monitor, will impart our valuable, indispensable, totally correct advice for getting a date to you. Keep reading for some love wisdom. 

Single 1:

So, it is now a mere two days before Valentine’s Day, and you are scrambling to find a date. Same. I have never really put much stock into celebrating Valentine’s Day – it’s never been an excessively exciting or depressing day for me. I generally find it kind of cute, but that’s the extent of my worrying about it. However, this year I am craving some combination of chocolate and strawberry. I also feel somewhat starved for human interaction after suffering through nearly a year of a pandemic, so maybe a Valentine’s date would be exciting.

My advice for navigating this situation? Give yourself a couple of avenues, don’t overwhelm yourself with opportunity and keep a solid backup plan. 

1) Hop on a dating app or two. Two solid go-tos are Tinder and Hinge. I am 100 percent positive you will see at least a couple of people on each app fishing for a Valentine’s date. Depending on what you’re looking for, you can choose which app to focus on. If you want sex or another primarily physical contact with someone whose personality is relatively unimportant, spend some extra time on Tinder. 

If this is your goal, please be COVID-19 safe, wear a mask and be sure to follow all Operation Safe Campus guidelines. And please use protection and have safe sex. Condoms are in all residential halls, courtesy of GIF, if you have an emergency need for one.

If you want to have more of a conversation and potentially meet someone you would want to see again, spend some more time on Hinge.

Regardless of the app you choose to focus on, spend some time swiping ASAP and just focus on getting some potential suitors. After a decent amount of swiping, switch to charming a few of your matches. Don’t try to message and entertain everyone because you will become overwhelmed and more boring to each match. If someone starts out poorly, drop ‘em. Find a few decent options that you can cultivate into potential Valentine’s dates. 

2) Check your results from CUA’s Match-Making survey. Maybe your top recommended match is your Jewell crush! While it may be slightly awkward, you can totally come up with a funny slide-in about the survey to gauge if they may be down for a date. If not, you made a potentially funny, not-too-embarrassing joke about a campus-wide dating survey. No harm, no foul. 

Also, I find it objectively hilarious to try to slide in on someone via email. So if you don’t have a match’s phone number or social media, email them and know I am getting immense joy from your actions. Please cc the Monitor if you choose to do so. Our email is monitor@william.jewell.edu 

3) Keep a fun, not-too-depressing backup plan. If you cannot find a date for Sunday, have a plan to do something, even if it’s small. Find another single friend, order a pizza, drink some champagne or sparkling grape juice and get a dessert. Yes, it is a little depressing to be with another single friend on Valentine’s Day when all your other friends are on dates, but at least you get a meal that’s not from the caf and some socialization time.

Alternatively, make and drink a bunch of espresso martinis with friends. I will warn that this may make you nauseous, but, yes, they are nevertheless delicious and totally worth it. 

Single 2:

Ahh yes, Valentine’s Day looms. Like my colleagues, I have never been particularly concerned with this holiday. My favorite part of the holiday is usually hearing the eclectic combination of sweet and cringeworthy stories that inevitably emerge from it. Yet, perhaps due to the need to socially distance for the last year, I’m more sympathetic to Valentine’s Day this year. 

In finding dates for Valentine’s Day, first of all, be mindful of COVID-19 precautions and make sure you are not putting yourself at increased risk. The pandemic is still spreading virulently here in the U.S. 

My best advice for those seeking to find a Valentine’s Day Date is to start with a healthy dose of self-awareness. Figure out what you want and adjust your approach accordingly. Though matches and love stories are found everywhere, generally an app like Tinder will be more conducive for hookups than for beginning long-term relationships. Plus, this will help ensure you and your prospective partners have a similar understanding of the nature of the relationship and prevent miscommunications.   

Single 3:
I’m known for two things: being in long-lasting, fulfilling relationships, and being pre-med. It is for these reasons that I am known – both colloquially and professionally – as Dr. Love. 

Now, let me give a little prescription to all the lonely hearts reading this.

Last Valentine’s Day Eve, I made what I believed at the time to be a critical mistake. In search of some company on what I thought was about to be a lonely evening, I decided to shoot a “wyd” message to a prospective Valentine’s companion on WhatsApp. Twenty-five minutes later, I checked for a response. To my dismay, I had sent my “wyd” message to not only the wrong individual but the wrong individuals. The 40-person group chat full of other students that I had been added to at the start of my year abroad had all witnessed me requesting a late-night intimate hangout.

How embarrassing, you’re probably thinking. I get it – I thought the same thing at first. Though the message was up (unanswered) for 25 minutes in the group chat before I realized I sent it to the wrong recipient and unsent the message (bless you, WhatsApp), I now look back and wish I had not deleted that message. 

Why? Because it was exactly the sort of audacious move I needed to pull in order to not spend my Valentine’s Day alone. 

“Wyd” is perhaps the most versatile and palatable phrase one can use to relay an interest in intimate activities. If someone is not interested, they could simply interpret your “wyd” as a polite inquiry regarding your recent goings-on. Or, if they, like you, are looking for a Valentine’s date, they’ll read your “wyd” as the proposition it is, and before you know it, you’ll have the date you were looking for.  

Be liberal with your “wyd.” Send it to your 150-person sophomore class group chat. Send it to the Army recruiter who somehow rediscovers your phone number every 16 months. Send it to your RA, even.

Might you wound your pride a little bit? Absolutely. But think about it: after sending out 4, 40, 4,000 “wyd”s, I can guarantee that someone will respond, and you will successfully secure a Valentine’s date. But, please, don’t file a medical malpractice suit if it doesn’t work.

Finding love on the Internet is a common occurrence today where there are dating apps that cater to all demographics, interests and preferences. Lately, “mating sites,” such as Modaily and CoParents, which match individuals who are seeking a partner to co-parent with, have gained popularity. Sites estimate that they have been responsible for about 1,000 births. These sites match prospective parents together based on common views and values on parenting.

While the majority of users are looking for non-romantic partners to start a family with, some have found love on these sites. While aging is often cited as a reason for joining these sites, there is a growing trend in starting a family without a romantic connection. Some individuals opt for artificial insemination, in vitro fertilization (IVF) or through intercourse when starting families with a platonic partner. 

Advocates of these mating sites believe that parenting through non-romantic relationships creates a more stable environment for starting a family. Shared goals of starting a family and raising children join individuals together. There are several success stories from co-parenting sites that have created happy families and stable children. Each situation is different, as some parents choose to live together over shared custody or may have children from past partners.

Communication and collaboration are especially important for platonic co-parenting, as they lack the usual connection that romantic partners have. Like any other relationship, there can be issues that arise out of a complicated situation. Both parties have to be on the same page about their intentions and romantic interests, or lack thereof. 

Today, the “traditional” family arguably doesn’t exist. Families come in all different shapes and sizes. Mixed families, where parents share custody of children and live under different roofs are common today, given that the divorce rate is 50 percent. Surrogacy and other non-traditional routes of starting families have been prevalent among same-sex couples or those who experience infertility. Attitudes and opinions surrounding how to best raise children have changed – many children are raised in households with single or divorced parents. Proponents of platonic parenting believe that children benefit from having two parents but don’t believe that a romantic connection is necessary for raising stable children.

COVID-19 has changed the way in which people date and seek relationships. Online dating has undergone a resurgence, and “mating sites” have also increased traffic. The pandemic has prompted people to further desire meaningful connections that come from family and solid relationships. Additionally, times of stress create a stronger desire for stability and companionship. COVID-19 has prompted more people to realize that they have a desire for starting a family and seek out this type of relationship.

Although I appreciate many of the elements that this type of parenting creates, such as open communication and focus on shared parenting methods, I have some qualms about it. Although the focus is on stability for children, I find it difficult to reconcile this to the fact that most of these children grow up in separate households – many co-parents don’t live together and may seek relationships outside of the co-parent. Although many divorced or separated parents are able to navigate this issue, I don’t find it ideal as it makes it more difficult for children to spend quality time with both parents and grow up in a stable environment.

I also believe that the children that result from these relationships might potentially lack the experience to learn about romantic relationships from their parents, which is important for development. The stories describing the awkward encounters for the co-parents who chose to become fertile made me cringe and made me wonder how that affected their relationships. Additionally, most articles still focused on heteronormative couples. This raised questions regarding how jealousy may affect co-parents who may have lingering physical or emotional connections to one another. Finally, I would like to see more information on co-parents who have different sexual orientations, since I think this would shift the dynamic most articles describe.