When reading the title of this article, you likely shrugged or scoffed. You read lava monster and thought this article would be nothing but a work of fiction like the Magma Mephit from D&D found on D&D Beyond. However, this is not a joke. The facts that I list in the following text are all true and are supported by reputable sources. When you finish reading you will understand that you truly are a monster made of lava.

You likely know that 70 percent of the human body is made of water and that water in its solid state is commonly known as ice. According to the USGS (United States Geological Survey), freshwater ice is classified as a rock. According to the Encyclopedia Britannica, also known as Britannica, a rock is a geology term that means “one or more minerals” that are naturally occurring.

Since the water inside our bodies is a liquid form of ice and ice is a rock, water can be described as liquid rock. This means water is lava. Let me explain more. 

A common misconception is that lava is a hot material that has the ability to burn anything that it comes in contact with. However, National Geographic states that “semi-liquild or liquid rock” is considered lava and that underground lava is called magma. This definition, which is the one used in geological sciences, does not include a temperature requirement. Ice is a “mono-mineral” collection of Dihydrogen monoxide (H₂O), commonly known as water frozen in a “dense ice crystal”. Dihydrogen monoxide (H₂O) ice has a melting point of 32℉/0℃ or 273.15K.

As we have concluded, ice is a mineral and in its liquid state, water, it falls under the definition of lava. Therefore, by technicality, humans are lava monsters. And if a person is underground, they become a magma monster.

Kansas City (@VisitKC)

The Kansas City metro is huge, and, for those on campus who aren’t from the area, there’s a lot to discover. The aim of Visit KC’s Twitter account is to let you know what’s happening and possibly give you some ideas for a night out. In addition, being a Kansas City native and sports fanatic myself, the numerous Royals-related Tweets as of late are much appreciated.

For today's #ThrowbackThursday, let's look back to last Sunday. #Crowned #Royals https://t.co/U0OBxY6nKy

— Visit KC (@VisitKC) November 5, 2015

On The Roofs (Instagram: ontheroofs)

Vadim Makharov isn’t just any dime-a-dozen, GoPro-wielding Instagram photographer. As his account name implies, Makhorov likes to get up really, really high. Many of his “On The Roofs” photos are simple: climb up, find a ledge, point down and take a surreal picture of the street below. In addition to the vertigo-inducing shots, Markhorov captures mountains, cityscapes and architecture from a much safer ground-level view.

India #ontheroofs

A post shared by OnTheRoofs (@ontheroofs) on Sep 13, 2014 at 3:04pm PDT

The Bespoke Dudes (Instagram: fabioattanasio)

It’s hard not to find the endless flood of fashion bloggers on Instagram, but outside of any accounts run by retail stores, men’s fashion seems to be thrown by the wayside. Not so with Italian eyeglasses designer Fabio Attanasio, who is attempting to revive older styles of men’s formal wear. And this isn’t one of your super-hipsters who looks like they are perpetually wearing Halloween costumes. Attanasio’s “sartorial classicism” style is both realistic for everyday wear and super slick. Combine that with typical Italian landscapes and food, and you’ve got one cool Instagram account.

Blue & Yellow ????? #thebespokedudesinnewyork #newyork #bespoke #menswear #tailoring Ph: @guerreisms

A post shared by The Bespoke Dudes (@fabioattanasio) on Nov 7, 2015 at 9:04pm PST

NASA (@NASA)

If following the Pope brings you closer to God, then following NASA makes you smarter. Most governmental science agencies have Twitter accounts also worth following, but NASA’s is one of the more active and popular accounts. You’ll find posts about upcoming astronomical events, scientific articles, and breathtaking pictures. It’s worth a look even if you aren’t a sucker for everything space-related.

What's up in the sky for November? Our @Tumblr blog breaks it down for you: https://t.co/7aFBISColG pic.twitter.com/MkJ2myn8iX

— NASA (@NASA) November 5, 2015

SportsCenter (Instagram: sportscenter)

ESPN’s flagship program maintains a very active Instagram account. Keep up with stats, game times, must-watch plays, gaffes and other sports-related information amid your typical photographic traffic. Everything from American football to the World Armwrestling Federation is covered. For those of you who are less sports-inclined, posts will help you keep up with which sports are in season. The strangely muscular athletes may even encourage a health kick.

Gregg Popovich's response when asked if he watched the World Series last night…

A post shared by SportsCenter (@sportscenter) on Nov 2, 2015 at 4:17pm PST

National Geographic (Instagram: natgeo)

An obvious choice, National Geographic covers just about anything on the solar system’s most interesting planet. This isn’t your father’s National Geographic though. The pictures of nature and everyday human life aren’t missing, but now you’ll find things like a nuclear control room, stills from old film strips and descriptions of people they meet, Humans of New York style. There’s even coverage of the Syrian refugee crisis, making every photo caption a must-read. It’s a little bit of everything, and it all looks amazing.

Phone photo: @ivankphoto Corn dries in front of a store on the back roads of #Cayambe, #Ecuador. @runa_photos, @thephotosociety, @panospictures

A post shared by National Geographic (@natgeo) on Nov 1, 2015 at 4:48pm PST

Twitter’s Parody Accounts

The only reason I didn’t quit Twitter a week after making my account was the discovery of something wonderful: the parody account. These accounts can include anyone from Henry Tudor (@KngHnryVIII) to Michael Scott (@Da_MichaelScott). Some of the ones I’ve personally liked are Florida Man (@_FloridaMan), Chaucer Doth Tweet (@LeVosterGC), Church Curmudgeon (@ChurchCurmudgeon) and Modern Seinfeld (@SeinfeldToday). There are plenty out there, so find one that you like and start laughing.

When George falls for a Twitter bot, Kramer claims he once Catfished himself. J:How’s that even possible? K:Oh I’m good Jerry. I’m real good

— Modern Seinfeld (@SeinfeldToday) July 8, 2015