Dating in college is so weird, hard and fun. There’s plenty of people here at William Jewell College or any college, who will tell you: “Oh my god isn’t love just so amazing, I love love and everything about it. Life is so magical and amazing isn’t it?”, I’m so happy” and so on. But then there’s plenty of people who will tell you: “I hate men/women, I only need myself,” “Everyone sucks,” ‘Being single is totally the wave,” etc. There are so many different kinds of relationships, especially in college.
After all, we are in college, essentially the warm-up to the rest of real life. There will rarely be any other time where you will be surrounded with a bunch of people your age, living in the same town and having at least a couple of things in common. So if committing to another person is something you’re interested in, it might be helpful to look around and talk to people.
Tinder and Bumble may be some people’s go-to when it comes to meeting people, as it’s a more direct way to tell people what you’re looking for. The results from the majority of those relationships based on those apps end in miscommunication and heartbreak, which eventually leads to one or both partners being afraid of getting into a relationship, completely disorienting them in terms of how good a relationship can be.
But then again I can’t at all say that this is the case for all of those relationships. At the end of the day, as long as both partners know what the expectations are and those are communicated, it’s hard for a relationship to go wrong. A relationship can be anything. There are no rules and limitations, which is why it’s frustrating that some people will judge others for having those kinds of relationships that may not fit the exact mold society expects.
The problem comes down to the fact that we’re all kids who don’t know what’s going to happen in the next few years. With fear being the unknown, it can make relationships scary. It’s scary to open yourself up to someone unconditionally and trust that you won’t be judged for who you are. And then there are long-distance relationships, which are a whole other level of difficulty. In order for those to work, there has to be great communication, trust, and a whole lot of honesty.
Tatiana Salisbury from studybreaks.com summarizes a general sentiment associated with dating in college: “Plenty of people meet the person they end up marrying in college. There’s a stigma around marrying young or coupling up in college ‘too quickly,’ but I say let people be happy by whatever means they deem necessary.”
Relationships shouldn’t be placed in a box – I implore you to be happy with however you choose to act in your relationship.
Then again not everyone needs someone. Some people genuinely don’t have a problem being by themselves. And that’s awesome – more power to you. You avoid the risk of going through any foreseeable emotional trauma, all while being able to focus on yourself and grow individually.
Salisbury has a nice analogy about expectations, “prepare yourself to accept what [life] throws your way, be it a soulmate or half-price Cadbury Eggs on Easter clearance special.” Manage expectations, in other words, don’t go looking for love. Let it come to you.
Relationships can be anything you want them to be, and with communication and trust, you can go as far as you want with a person. Be safe though – physically, mentally and emotionally.
