My Anti-Bucket List

Image from Unsplash.

If you type “bucket list” into Google, you get approximately two million results. These results include fun and exciting trips and events that you can do before you “kick the bucket.” There can be no doubt that people have put serious thought in order to carefully cultivate the list of things they really want to do in their lives. But, have people thought about things that they really do not want to do? We spend so much time thinking about bucket lists – why not think of our anti-bucket lists? In this article, I will mention some things which I would never do in my life. For the things that are most odious to us are just as important in defining who we are as the things which we most want. 

My anti-bucket list:

  1. Text my mom less than 3 times a week: I love my mom – and I love talking to her. I don’t share everything I do with her, but I share the good things because I love making her happy. I save the bad – I mean, fun – things to gossip about with my best friends.
  2. Have more than one cat: I think having one creature knocking off your cups is enough for me. I don’t want all of my cups to be broken. I am so down for having a dog and a cat, though.
  3. Pierce my nipples: Imagine breastfeeding. You will have to take your piercings off every time your little monster is crying its lungs out. Also, I want to go out without having to wear a bra all the time.
  4. Scuba diving: I love beaches but I hate the ocean. I’m not a fan of swimming with big fish that can easily kill you.
  5. Own a pet snake longer than 6 inches: I want to breathe at night, and I want to be alive to wake up in the morning. I don’t want to argue this with anyone. If you disagree, my suggestion is that you Google “scary stories about snakes.”
  6. Give up skiing: Skiing is expensive, and I will never be able to afford a ski trip in college (we all know most of us are broke). However, I am planning to move back to the Rocky mountains and settle my whole life there after college. Skiing is the only sport I like because it doesn’t require much cardio workout. No pleasure is better than having the gondola and chairlift take you up high and then you use only some leg muscle to ski down.
  7. Use hardcore drugs: I think that trying some marijuana is okay as long as you can function well the next morning. However, heroin and cocaine addictions are just scary to think about. I never want to have my life rely on something, especially something that will just burn your pockets.
  8. Drinking on a weekday: I don’t know about other people, but I have bad hangovers. It’s not the headaches that annoy me, but drinking alcohol makes my hands shake like I just drank three energy drinks.
  9. Stop going to the library: One of the things on my bucket list is to go to all the libraries I can. You can not only read books, but you can also smell them. The smell of paper books is even more soothing than lavender.
  10. Stop reading philosophy: I was amazed at how I can explain so many questions I have had for years just after reading a few pages of Plato and Mill. Obviously I haven’t had much chance to read more than what my teachers assign me because I have too much homework, but I will keep learning more after college. It also makes me feel like I am super smart – my brain usually doesn’t work when I need it to – when I can help my little sister.
  11. Use a Samsung phone: I love Apple products. iPhones are not super expensive compared to Samsung products. Also, you have to admit that iOS 14 is amazing!
  12. Plastic surgery: I don’t want to risk the fact I might ruin my face and health forever just to look more like the “ideal” beauty standard. I am not super happy with my face and body type, but I think I am much more than what I look like.
  13. Quit my job to take care of my family: I didn’t spend 12 years of K-12 to get into a good college, attend four years of college and possibly attend another four to five years of graduate school just to cook and clean all day. I would much rather stay single my whole life than put myself in that prison.
  14. Work out every day: That’s a dedication of time! Going to the gym three times a week is good enough for me. (At this point I must confess that I haven’t hit the gym for two weeks.)
  15. Have a boyfriend who is not as smart as me: I mean smart not as in IQ but in being able to understand what we talk about. I think for a relationship to last, communication is a must. He can either be in the same major and smarter than me so I can broaden my knowledge in my field, or in a different major and teach me about what he learns in class. I am a big nerd, I know.

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