AFE: Beyond the Hill editor admits knowing nothing about politics

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On Monday, Mar. 30, Beyond the Hill page editor Grace Smith, junior, admitted to knowing nothing about politics while standing on the fringes of the quad during Jewell Time.

“I don’t understand the whole political party process,” said the previously esteemed editor. “My political party is any one with frat boys and red solo cups.”

Readers of her informative and opinionated pieces were confused by this proclamation. An open forum broke out among the masses as they began to question Smith, but administration quickly arrived and restored the peace.

“In this upcoming election I will be supporting Missouri’s own Todd Akin,” said Smith. “He will lead our country to a better state of being through his knowledge of politics, human rights and the female anatomy.”

Her faculty adviser did not comment on Smith’s sudden confession. However, sources report that Smith is now in hot pursuit of her MRS degree while letting her poli-sci studies take the backseat.

When questioned about plans after graduation, Smith said, “I can’t wait to marry the man of my dreams . . . and his trust fund. I want to make a difference in this world, and my degree will allow me to be a philanthropist as well. You can’t imagine how rewarding it will be to serve on the country club’s executive board or to be the standards chair of the homeowner’s association.”

Witnesses have divulged information regarding the fraternization between Smith and Brett Stone, sophomore and active member of Lambda Chi Alpha fraternity. The potential couple has yet to make a formal announcement, but students are anticipating a sequel to Smith’s proclamation on the Quad.

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