The Hilltop Monitor staff is pleased to announce that our publication has recently won the Karl Marx Award for Excellence in Liberal Propaganda. Previous winners include CNN and The Guardian.
“It is an honor to be recognized for all of our hard work. We are especially proud of Comrade Melton for her contributions,” said Brett Stone, managing-editor and English and political science major.
Erin Melton, chief copy editor and Oxbridge literature and theory major, won the Bernie Sanders Award for Best Socialist Editorial with her controversial article titled “To be honest I don’t shave my legs because I hate my dad.”
“I could not be any happier. It’s been my lifelong goal to be recognized as one of the most liberal writers in the country, and it’s finally happened. I’d like to give special thanks to Leon Trotsky and Vladimir Lenin for inspiration,” said Melton.
Last year Melton was runner up for the award for her article “I hate Jesus.”
“We hope to build off of this momentum and continue to distinguish ourselves as one of the foremost liberal publications in the country. I hope next year we continue to intimidate people with our hatred of conservatives and rejection of family values,” said Sarah Crosley, editor-in-chief and English and classics major.
Token conservative first-year Taylor Tummons, Oxbridge and communication major declined to comment.