AFE: The Hilltop Monitor editorial staff targeted

What do a clump of hair, a wasp and a large metal hinge have in common? They have all been located in the food and beverages of The Hilltop Monitor editorial staff.

The features editor of the Monitor, Michaela Esau, first-year Oxbridge: Literature and Theory and communication major, found a metal object in her muffin from @thebeak in November.

“I was picking apart my banana nut muffin when I noticed a rather shiny walnut,” Esau said. “I then realized that it was not a walnut but a three inch metal hinge.”

The chunk of metal Esau found in her muffin. Photo courtesy of Michaela Esau.

Esau overall found the experience to be entertaining and was pleased to be compensated for her muffin and trauma. She has a love for all members of the dining staff and will continue to enjoy her daily trips to the cafeteria.

Sofia Arthurs-Schoppe, junior chemistry and communication major, is co-editor in chief of the Monitor. She found a wasp in an olive.

“I was shocked,” Arthurs-Schoppe commented. “Finding that wasp really stung.”

A wasp found in Arthurs-Schoppe’s olive. Photo courtesy of Sofia Arthurs-Schoppe.

The other co-editor in chief of the Monitor, Christina Kirk, Oxbridge: Institutions and Policy major, found a clump of hair in her coffee. She can remember exactly where she was the moment she came in contact with the unwanted strands.

“It was bad enough that I was pulling a hair out of my mouth in the middle of Dr. Cox’s International Political Economy lecture, but the situation became far more dire when I looked at the mouth of the coffee lid and saw, not just one, but an entire clump of hair peeking out,” Kirk said of her traumatizing experience.

Why would all three of these incidents happen to members of The Hilltop Monitor staff? Esau feels that maybe a student is taking their desire for one of the coveted positions of the Monitor staff too far by targeting the food and beverages of staff members. They may have captured that wasp and snuck it into Arthurs-Schoppe’s olive or pulled the metal hinge out of their dorm bed and implanted it in Esau’s muffin.

Esau urges this student to instead apply for editorial staff – and leave her beloved banana nut muffins at peace.

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