Smallest Hill: YOU are a lava monster

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When reading the title of this article, you likely shrugged or scoffed. You read lava monster and thought this article would be nothing but a work of fiction like the Magma Mephit from D&D found on D&D Beyond. However, this is not a joke. The facts that I list in the following text are all true and are supported by reputable sources. When you finish reading you will understand that you truly are a monster made of lava.

You likely know that 70 percent of the human body is made of water and that water in its solid state is commonly known as ice. According to the USGS (United States Geological Survey), freshwater ice is classified as a rock. According to the Encyclopedia Britannica, also known as Britannica, a rock is a geology term that means “one or more minerals” that are naturally occurring.

Since the water inside our bodies is a liquid form of ice and ice is a rock, water can be described as liquid rock. This means water is lava. Let me explain more. 

A common misconception is that lava is a hot material that has the ability to burn anything that it comes in contact with. However, National Geographic states that “semi-liquild or liquid rock” is considered lava and that underground lava is called magma. This definition, which is the one used in geological sciences, does not include a temperature requirement. Ice is a “mono-mineral” collection of Dihydrogen monoxide (H2O), commonly known as water frozen in a “dense ice crystal”. Dihydrogen monoxide (H2O) ice has a melting point of 32℉/0℃ or 273.15K.

As we have concluded, ice is a mineral and in its liquid state, water, it falls under the definition of lava. Therefore, by technicality, humans are lava monsters. And if a person is underground, they become a magma monster.

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