The Hilltop Monitor

The Hilltop Monitor

The Official Student Publication of William Jewell College

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Recent News
  • AI Psychosis, Delusions, and the Digital Condition
  • Jewell Quietly Publishes Directory Information
  • The Homophobic Slur Incident in Jones Hall and How it Affects Jewell’s Queer Community
  • Partisan Redistricting and Missouri’s New Electoral Maps
  • France’s Political Collapse and the Rise of Sébastien Lecornu

Category: Satire

AFE: Vermin Supreme are all around Jewell

1 April 2016
Taylor Tummons
No Comments

With Dr. David Sallee set to retire at the end of this year, the Board of Trustees has selected Vermin Supreme to be the new…

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AFE: The campus ghosts are getting rowdy for this one reason!!1!1!!

1 April 2016
Jesse Lundervold
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Despite having resided at William Jewell College for over a century, the resident ghosts on campus are now being charged for each year they have…

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AFE: Scheduling nightmare in the Greek community!!!

1 April 2016
Alyssa Young
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AFE: William Jewell College’s Dank Meme Stash

1 April 2016
Hannah Garner
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AFE: Student gets deported back to Kansas, but you’ll never guess why!

1 April 2016
Brianna Steiert
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Sarah Crosley, senior English and Classics major, woke up March 29 to Campus Safety knocking at her door demanding she leave campus immediately or she…

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AFE: What has the Biology Department been hiding from us? The truth may shock you.

1 April 2016
Luke Lockhart
No Comments

On Monday, March 14th, the campus of William Jewell College was on lockdown as the guardian beast of White Science Center was accidently let out. Nobody…

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AFE: 4 places to “””””DEFINITELY NOT”””””” smoke on campus

1 April 2016
Harper Vincent
No Comments

1. When you’re in the stacks reading Sartre and your angst gets to be too much to handle, “””DO NOT””” take a break to contemplate life’s horrors…

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AFE: How often do Jewelligans shower? The results may surprise you!

1 April 2016
Jake Marlay
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AFE: The Hilltop Monitor Wins National Award for Liberal Propaganda

1 April 2016
Brett Stone
No Comments

The Hilltop Monitor staff is pleased to announce that our publication has recently won the Karl Marx Award for Excellence in Liberal Propaganda. Previous winners…

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