Following spring break I decided to interview one of the William Jewell College’s most well known figures to attain insight into the innermost functions of…
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AFE: Moaning Myrtle has invaded the Ely boys bathroom
There has been a recent spotting this past week of Moaning Myrtle in the boys’ bathrooms in Ely. The hallway on the boys’ floor of Ely…
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AFE: Harriman-Jewell Series expands to include illegal raves, Scottish pirate metal bands
Photo by Amy Kontras The Harriman Jewell Series, a so-called “Fine Arts Program” never supported the art of the people. Symphonies, ballet and opera are…
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AFE: Hair in Jones Hall bathroom drain becomes sentient
A joint effort by the William Jewell College biology and psychology departments is attempting to communicate with the recently enlightened tangle of hair from that…
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AFE: He Came from Planet Faulkner: A look at the real Dr. Walters
As highly reliable History Channel documentaries often tell us, aliens are everywhere in today’s culture. While such thoughts are often shrugged off as mere fantasies,…
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AFE: Faculty panel to investigate Dr. Hemenway’s alleged ties to Russia
The Office of the Provost announced today that a 10-member interdisciplinary faculty panel has been assembled to investigate band director Dr. Langston Hemenway’s ties to the Putin…
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AFE: White Science to “build a wall” to keep Marston students out of bathroom
On the northwestern border of White Science, protesting has broken out among the scientists and mathematicians. Glaring beneath their goggles, the protesters cast aside their lab…
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AFE: Student Senate president Zak Carroll declares Hilltop Monitor “fake news”
Earlier this week, the relationship between “The Hilltop Monitor” and President of the Student Senate, Zak Carroll, deteriorated even further. Tuesday, during a routine Student Senate…
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