Conspiracy Theory: The Ossie Goose

A contemplative goose. Image courtesy of Unsplash.

Since the beginning of time, people have passed down rumors of creatures lurking in the dark – Bigfoot, The Loch Ness monster and Mothman, to name a few. Details of these mysterious animals are listed in folklore and oral tradition. These beasts have even been written about in books and portrayed in horror films and documentaries. However, not all of these mysterious creatures are quite as well known. One lesser known animal has been seen sneaking around at William Jewell College.

In November of 2018 a group of friends were leaving the parking lot near the first year dorms when they saw a mysterious creature squatting behind a shrub in the Browning Bowl. In the darkness they saw what appeared to be a large birdlike animal. Its features resemble that of a goose with a beak, long neck and wings – but its body and legs were the size of an ostrich. It also had glowing red eyes and large wings.

The first-year friend group remembers the terror they felt when they saw the mysterious creature on campus.

“From the backseat of my friend’s car I saw a goose the size of an ostrich lurking behind a bush. Its red eyes were glowing, and it was staring directly at me,” said Skylar Stietz, first-year biology major.

The group didn’t know what to make of their shocking experience or what to call the creature they say they saw. Eventually they combined aspects of the bird’s physique and it became known as the ostrich goose, or Ossie Goose for short.

Figure 1: The Ossie Goose as seen at night. The glowing eyes are visible if you look closely

The Ossie Goose was not seen for months and the affected students began to question what they really saw that dark night. However, in March, the winged beasts surfaced again. First-year Michaela Esau, Oxbridge: Literature and Theory major, claimed she too had a terrifying encounter with the Ossie Goose.

“I was doing homework in my room when I saw a strange animal outside my window. It looked like a giant goose with red eyes, and it was flying violently around my window, as if it was looking for something to attack. It was terrifying. I immediately ran to tell all my friends what I saw” Esau said.

Later that day, Esau met with the creature face to face when it suddenly appeared behind a tree in front of her.

“The velocity of the animal was petrifying. It was like it had been thrown at me,” said Esau.

Grace Garbe, first-year business and communications major, was with Esau the night of the Ossie Goose attack.

“It was like a near-death experience. I’d never seen something like it before. It flew directly at me and I had to run for my life. I don’t feel safe with that giant goose around” Garbe said.

After the attack, Esau and Garbe were determined to capture an image of the mysterious Ossie Goose so they could warn others. They took their camera to the scene of the crime and were able to capture some shocking pictures. However, they believe the creature saw them taking pictures and is now angered.

“After encountering the goose, not one, but two large birds flew directly at my windshield. I believe this was punishment for having photographed the elusive beast. This was nearly as terrifying as when the Ossie Goose threw itself at me out of a tree in the black of night” said Esau.

Since little is known about the creature, it is hard to tell what Ossie Goose is and is not capable of. Unlike the well-known stories of other creatures, no one knows what Ossie Goose eats, where it lives or any of its behaviors. It appears to travel by itself, has been seen mainly at night and seems to hide behind bushes or trees before it goes after someone.

Thus far, the Ossie Goose has not hurt anyone. It may be nonviolent and just trying to scare people aware from its territory. However, if you believe the claims of Stietz, Esau and Garbe, the Ossie Goose is not something you want to meet in the dark.

No one knows where the Ossie Goose came from, how many there are or how many people witness its spine-chilling form. If you find yourself walking across campus at night, keep an eye out for the glowing red eyes of the giant goose. You never know where Ossie Goose could strike next.

Figure 2: The Ossie Goose seen flying around campus. A building in the background serves as a comparison for Ossie Goose’s size.

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