AFE: Hundreds of Jewell fraternity men distraught

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If you’ve been keeping up on The Hilltop Monitor’s Lifestyle page recently – which I encourage everyone to do – you’ll notice that there has been an exciting addition: quizzes! These William Jewell College related quizzes have been an excellent way for students to learn more about themselves and the school.

However, a recent quiz sparked controversy among members of the fraternity community at Jewell.

The quiz “Which Jewell fraternity member are you?”, led to hundreds of fraternity members questioning their frats and, ultimately, their own membership in their organization.

Fraternity members were shocked and confused when they started taking the quiz and realizing that might have belonged to the wrong fraternity for years. More importantly, members who recently joined were horrified at the thought that they might have just pledged the wrong fraternity.

“I overheard a man contemplating his entire Greek life career, nay contemplating his entire life, when the frat he got in his quiz was not the frat he was actually in,” said Savannah Hawley, sophomore Oxbridge: Literature and Theory and French major. “Since all the other quiz results had been so accurate up to this point, he was wondering if he had in fact joined the wrong one.”

Hawley was excited to announce that she received FIJI as the fraternity she should join and wants to rush next year.

Students on the Hill observed fraternity men everywhere questioning how the quiz results could be accurate – KA’s were getting LCA, FIJI’s were getting KA, LCA’s were getting FIJI – they thought it had to be a farce.

However, the Monitor spoke with Madison Carroll, sophomore Oxbridge: Institutions and Policy major and creator of the quiz, who confirmed the accuracy of the results.

“I took all the information about the fraternities from their national websites,” said Carroll. “All of the character traits and preferences were based on the values which the fraternities hold as their highest standards. This quiz was by far the most accurate personality test the Monitor has published to date.”

Even though fraternity men were horrified at the quiz results, many women on campus were excited to find out to which fraternity they belonged.

“Up until taking this quiz, I thought I would never have a desire to join Greek life,” said Catherine Dema, sophomore Oxbridge: History of Ideas and psychics major. “After taking the quiz and finding out that my true home was with the brothers of FIJI (ironic) I got excited about figuring out where I truly belonged.”

Even though this quiz destroyed many lives of fraternity members here at Jewell, the Monitor hopes that it has helped people recognize where they truly belong.

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