The Hilltop Monitor

The Hilltop Monitor

The Official Student Publication of William Jewell College

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Tag: april fools

AFE: Students vote for more “On-Brand” Jewell slogan: see the results

1 April 2019
Harper Vincent
No Comments

Despite William Jewell College’s recent rebranding mission that dubbed the school “The Critical Thinking College™,” enrollment is still running low. In response, the students of…

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AFE: The Hilltop Monitor editorial staff targeted

1 April 2019
Michaela Esau
No Comments

What do a clump of hair, a wasp and a large metal hinge have in common? They have all been located in the food and…

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AFE: My Advice? Enjoy those fire alarms baby, take it all in

1 April 2019
Caitlin Overmeyer
No Comments

We all know that one of the best things that happens at William Jewell College is when someone burns a grilled cheese and sets off…

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AFE: Conspiracy theory – Jewell admits icons only

1 April 2019
Catherine Dema
No Comments

In a stunning reveal, the Hilltop Monitor has uncovered evidence that William Jewell College may have some of the lowest true acceptance rates in the…

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AFE: Person tries cleaning email inbox one time, thwarted by Moodle updates

1 April 2019
Anna Warner
No Comments

Self-help articles and the like online suggest that cleaning one’s email inbox assists in better mental health. Reporting to you live from A Student’s Dorm…

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AFE: Administration to open investigation to find the most stressed student at Jewell

1 April 2019
Savannah Hawley
1 Comment

Administration at William Jewell College is set to open an investigation in order to find out who the most stressed student at the College really…

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AFE: Jewell’s beer pong team advance to conference championship

1 April 2019
Savanah Malam
No Comments

William Jewell College’s very own beer pong team, the Cardinal Chuggers, have made it to conference championships this year, where they will fight to receive…

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AFE: Jewell revokes ban on single major students receiving degrees

1 April 2019
Madelyn Comeau
No Comments

William Jewell College has issued a statement revoking its ban on single majors receiving degrees. This change came on the heels of demonstrations and rallies…

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AFE: Self-help tip – Flee

1 April 2019
Anna Warner
No Comments

Rather than randomly blather about my own intricacies like some kind of narcissist, I am here to report that there is a new practice in…

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